Disappearance

by Larry Hirshberg

supported by
Sara Fleischman
Sara Fleischman thumbnail
Sara Fleischman I love this album because it reminds me of Missoula, of a simpler time when I was in my 20's. Back when I never thought I would have a soul-sucking corporate gig and live in suburbia, when I denounced minivans and vowed to never own one. Little did I know that as I neared 40 my life would send me hurtling towards yuppieville. This album takes me back to those endless summers, bar hopping, tubing down the Blackfoot and fly fishing like I was Norman Maclean.
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about

My first foray into self-digital recording. Borrowed a Boss BR-8 from Bill McDavid (thanks, Bill) and recorded the whole thing in a couple of weeks at the end of '01. Purchased the BR-8 from Bill a bit after this. The record is unmastered, but sounds great. Made 60 CD-R copies, printed up some nifty covers, traycards, and a little lyric booklet and sold or gave away all of them but one. Recently, in the fall of 2011, a friend told me that he went to listen to his copy, but it was corrupt: the disc had lost its data. Distorted, wouldn't play right. I went and listened to my copy, and...same thing!. My wife's copy...same thing! So, in the interest of archiving this thing for posterity, and for those of you who want some cool music, here it is! Thanks, Bandcamp, for the beautiful platform on which to post. Enjoy Disappearance.

credits

released December 31, 2001

Larry Hirshberg - Everything.

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Larry Hirshberg Missoula, montana

The years reveal what the moments are made to conceal.

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Track Name: Disappearance
SOMETHING TOOK THE TRAVEL OUT OF ME
HOW I USED TO RAMBLE
SOMETHING TOOK THE RAMBLE OUT OF ME
MAN I USED TO ROAM
SOMETHING TOOK THE ROAMING OUT OF ME
BOY I USED TO WANDER
SOMETHING TOOK THE WANDER OUT OF ME
NOW I’M HAPPY AT HOME

Chorus:
SOME THINGS ARE LOST OR MISSING
THEY’VE ALREADY BEEN REPLACED
EMPTINESS AND DISAPPEARANCE
ALSO COME AND GO THAT WAY

SOMETHING TOOK THE GUITAR OUT OF ME
HOW I USED TO HIGH NOTE
SOMETHING TOOK THE HIGH NOTE OUT OF ME
MAN I USED TO SPACE
SOMETHING TOOK THE SPACY OUT OF ME
HOW I USED TO FREE FORM
SOMETHING TOOK THE FREE FORM OUT OF ME
NOW I MOSTLY PLAY THE BASS

CHORUS

Bridge:
ALWAYS DISAPPEARING
NEVER GET COMFORTABLE
OPEN HAND WILL EMPTY
OPEN HEART GETS FULL

SOMETHING TOOK THE RUMBLE OUT OF ME
HOW I USED TO THUNDER
SOMETHING TOOK THE THUNDER OUT OF ME
MAN I USED TO BOOM
SOMETHING TOOK THE BOOMING OUT OF ME
GIRL I USED TO RAIN DOWN
SOMETHING TOOK THE RAIN DOWN OUT OF ME
I SIT QUIET IN MY ROOM
Track Name: Dandelion Desert
THERE OUGHT TO BE A BUZZARD
FRAGRANT ROLLING PLAINS OF SAGE
A SHADOW BUTTE, DISTORTING IN THE DISTANCE
THE BURNING SUN’S FIERY RAGE

Chorus:
BUT IT’S JUST THIS DANDELION DESERT
SURROUNDED BY THE BACKYARD FENCE
RAIN FILLS UP THE SKY, STILL MY MOUTH IS DRY
THIS DUSTY EMPTY FEELING MAKES NO SENSE


THERE OUGHT TO BE A RATTLER
SNAKING ‘CROSS THE ALKALI
SAGUARO CRUCIFIX, BITTER SCORPION
A DESPERATE COWBOY SHOULD CRAWL BY

CHORUS


THE SUN FOR THE BALL OF FIRE THAT IS MY BABY
THE SAGE FOR THE POWER WE CAN’T SEE
THE RATTLESNAKE – IT’S FOR THE POISON
THE CRAWLING COWBOY – OUGHT TO BE ME

CHORUS
Track Name: Every One Of Those Men
Chorus:
DIDN'T YOU KNOW
HE WASN'T THE ONE
WHEN YOU STARTED TO FALL
YOU WERE JUST SO
BENT TO HAVE FUN
AND NOW YOU HAVE NOTHIN' AT ALL
YOU OUGHTA SHOOT
AT SOMETHING THAT'S STILL
WHEN YOU FIRE AGAIN
DIDN'T YOU KNOW
YOU COULDN'T KILL
EVERY ONE OF THOSE MEN (4x)

Verse:
MR. GOTTA KEEP MOVIN'
MR. I GOTTA BE THE BOSS
MR. SAID HE'D CALL
MR. I GOT LOST
MR. FANCY CAR
MR. HIDEAWAY
MR. CAN'T DO NOTHING
MR. HE'S TOO BUSY TO STAY

CHORUS
INTRO

Verse:
MR. HAS NO FEELINGS
MR. I'LL TRY TO BE GOOD
MR. STILL A BOY
MR. I KNOW I SHOULD
MR. HAD TOO MUCH
MR. NOT TODAY
MR. CAN”T STOP TALKING
MR. HE'S GOT NOTHING TO SAY

CHORUS
INTRO
Track Name: Lyin' Low
SILENT MORNING, DREAM THROTTLES DOWN
YOU RISE AND SURVEY YOUR QUIET TOWN
YOU CLIMB A HILL AND YOU GATHER WORDS
THEN YOU’RE AWARE OF SOUNDS YOU’VE NEVER HEARD

chorus
LYIN’ LOW
SOME KIND OF GHOST
LYIN’ LOW
AND ALL YOU KNOW’S THAT YOU’RE
LYIN’ LOW
STANDING TALL
THEN YOU HAD TO GO…
AND NOW YOU’RE LYIN’ LOW


ALL YOUR PEOPLE, EVERY WOMAN AND MAN
KNEW WHERE TO FIND YOUR HEART AND YOUR HAND
ACROSS THEIR WATER, THERE WAS THUNDER
YOU WERE A NAVY, UNTIL YOU WENT UNDER

CHORUS

Bridge
NOT AT ALL LIKE THAT RAINY DAY
COMFORT KNOWING YOU’LL BE DRY
NOT AT ALL LIKE THOSE EARLY YEARS
IT WAS ENOUGH TO JUST KEEP ASKING WHY
A LITTLE LIKE THAT TIME YOUR BROTHER
WRECKED YOUR RIG AND ALMOST DIED
VERY MUCH LIKE THAT MANSION ON THE BEACH
DISAPPEARING UNDER THE TIDE….


NOW LISTEN TO THE VOICES FROM BELOW
CALLING OUT THE NAMES THAT THEY KNOW
CLIMB THE FACE OF THE CLOCK INTO THE DAWN
AND IF YOU’RE LUCKY YOU MAY GET TO GO ON

CHORUS
Track Name: Big Blue Spark
THE MAN BEHIND THE MOTORMAN, RIDING LATE AT NIGHT
HALF AWARE OF ALL OF US, HALF A DRINK TOO TIGHT
ONE EYE OPEN, ONE EYE CLOSED, FINGERING HIS OLD TWEED COAT

BIG BLUE SPARK POPS OFF THE WIRE
FLASHES THROUGH HIS REVERIE
SHOWING HIM THE TUNNEL SIDES
BIG BLUE SPARK - MOMENTARILY



THE MOTORMAN RIDES STARING HARD AT WHAT LIES AHEAD
GOES PAST A TRAIN GOING THE OTHER WAY, VAGUELY NODS HIS HEAD
WORKS THE THROTTLE, FLICKS A SWITCH, 600 VOLTS MAKE HIM RICH

BIG BLUE SPARK SINGS OFF THE WIRE
ABOVE HIS TRAIN, FLYING FREE
LIGHTS THE TUNNEL FOR A SECOND
BIG BLUE SPARK - ELECTRICITY



THE MOTORMAN AND THE GUY BEHIND HIM, THEY GO FLASHING BY
I'M GOING WHERE THEY JUST CAME FROM, MY TRAIN IS MAKING TIME
SWITCHING THROUGH THE UNDERGROUND, FAR BELOW THE PULSING TOWN

BIG BLUE SPARK CRACKS OFF THE WIRE
POWER SURGING, BLINDING ME
HEADING HOME I CLOSE MY EYES -
IMAGE OF THE MOTORMAN, THE TWEED COAT GUY, THE BIG BLUE SPARK
AND SUBWAY SYMMETRY
Track Name: Susie Was A Rockette
1952, HER LEGS KNEW WHAT TO DO
THE BUS FROM KANSAS CITY, WAS LONG NOT VERY PRETTY
A ROOM WITH ANOTHER GIRL, AUDITIONS FOR THE WORLD
THE PHONE RANG BY HER BED, RADIO CITY SAID..

chorus:
SUSIE WAS A ROCKETTE
SHE KICKED ‘EM HIGH BOYS, SHE WAS SET
OLD MANHATTAN JUST MADE HER WET
SUSIE WAS A ROCKETTE

SKIP TO ’61, SUSIE AND HER SON
ON THE TRAIN HE HOLDS HER HAND, AT THE MUSEUM HE’S HER LITTLE MAN
THEY STAND IN FRONT OF A MISTY DANCER, SHE REMEMBERS WHEN THERE WAS NO ANSWER
BACK ON THE STREET HE SETS THE PACE, POWDERED SUGAR ON HIS FACE

CHORUS

A NIGHT IN ’56, BACKSTAGE SHE HAD HER PICK
SHE WAS ATTRACTED TO JOHNNY ACE, HE HAD THAT SHADOW ON HIS FACE
SHE KNEW TO FIND LOVE ANYWHERE, SHE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO BE SCARED
IN A FEW WEEKS WHEN HE DIDN’T CALL, SHE ONLY VAGUELY FELT HER NUMBER FALL

CHORUS

1973, SUSIE CAME TO ME
MY FATHER MARRIED HER. ME AND LEGS WE’RE LIKE BROTHERS, SURE
WE’VE GOT OUR OWN WIVES NOW, WE ALL LIKE TO GO DOWNTOWN
RADIO CITY STILL GIVES OUR SUSIE SOME KIND OF A THRILL..
Track Name: Another Good Thing (In The Past)
YOU’RE THE KIND OF GUY ALWAYS FINISHES WHAT HE STARTS
BUT NOW ALL I SEE IS THE ROAD RUNNING AFTER YOUR CAR
I DIDN’T THINK THAT YOU’D BE GIVING UP QUITE SO FAST
JUST ANOTHER GOOD THING IN THE WORLD THAT DID NOT LAST

Chorus:
ANOTHER GOOD THING IN THE PAST
I LOVE YOU, AND NOW I GOTTA SAY GOODBYE
LOOKED PRETTY GOOD TO ONE OF US
THE OTHER ONE LEFT SAYIN’ “WHAT’S ALL THE FUSS?”
IT’S ALREADY GONE IF YOU HAVE TO ASK

I’D LIKE TO PUT THE BLAME ON YOU AND LEAVE YOU HANGIN’ ON A HOOK
BUT WHO CAN TAKE THE BLAME FOR PLAYIN’ IT BY THE BOOK
I DIDN’T THINK THAT YOU’D BE GIVING UP QUITE SO FAST
JUST ANOTHER GOOD THING IN THE WORLD THAT DID NOT LAST

CHORUS
Track Name: Simple Pain, Complex Place
WELL YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING
AGAIN YOU FEEL BAD
BUT YOU STEP TO THE SIDEWALK
AND SEE THE STREET IS NOT SAD

THE SKY SOFTLY SHIMMERS
THE TREES WHISPER GREEN
BUT YOU CAN’T SHAKE THAT DARKNESS
YOU CAN’T SEE WHAT IT MEANS


Chorus:
IT’S A SIMPLE PAIN IN A COMPLEX PLACE
JUST A SIMPLE PAIN IN A COMPLEX PLACE
IT’S A SIMPLE PAIN IN A COMPLEX PLACE


WELL THE WORLD IS NOT EASY
NOR IS WHAT YOU DO
YOU’RE MEASURIN’ AGAINST YESTERDAY
TRYIN’ TO SEE IF YOU GREW

WELL YOU FILL YOURSELF UP AND THEN
YOU EMPTY BACK OUT
IN THE END THERE’S NO COMFORT
THEN IN CREEPS YOUR DOUBT

CHORUS

THERE’S A THOUSAND PLACES
ONE WAY TO FEEL BAD
THERE’S BILLIONS OF PEOPLE TODAY
ALL FEEL THE SAME WHEN THEY’RE SAD

SO THE WAY THAT YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW
NO NEED TO EXPLAIN
‘CAUSE THE WORLD IS COMPLICATED
SIMPLE IS YOUR PAIN
Track Name: One Last Beer
ONE LAST BEER WENT DOWN LIKE MOTHER’S MILK
HE HEARD THE BARLEY LULLABY
HIS DREAM WAS WALKIN’ GOLDEN FIELDS OF SILK
AND WHEN HE WOKE HIS THROAT WAS DRY

Chorus
FLAVORS MAY FADE
BUT THE TASTE IS NEVER GONE
LONG TIME AWAY
WHAT YOU WANT POURS ON AND ON

ONE LAST BEER TO PLAY THE RIVER TAPS
LISTEN TO THE BUBBLES RISE
PEELING LABELS, TWISTING CAPS
IN THE DUSK THE SWALLOW FLIES

CHORUS

ONE LAST BEER AND GREY TURNED TO BLACK
AND IN THE DARK IT CAME TO HIM
YOU WANNA DROWN BUT YOU KEEP COMING BACK
IF YOU CAN’T SINK YOU’LL HAVE TO SWIM

CHORUS
Track Name: Beyond Repair
YOU LOST A STEP, YOU’RE NOT SURE WHERE
IT’S BEEN HAPPENING FOR A WHILE, USING GALLONS TO THE MILE
AND THERE’S FEAR IN THE MIRROR IN THE HALL BY THE STAIRS…


Chorus:
STAY RIGHT THERE
BEYOND REPAIR
IF DOLLARS WERE DESPAIR
YOU’D BE A MILLIONAIRE


YOUR WAIST IS FULL. YOUR CAR’S GOT NO GAS.
TELEVISION LIGHTS THE ROOM, MIGHT AS WELL BE ON THE MOON
IT’S A FEELING THAT YOU HOPE IS GONNA PASS…


CHORUS / BRIDGE / INSTRUMENTAL CHORUS


THE SUN IS LOW. YOUR BREATH IS HANGING COLD.
SUMMER ENDED LONG AGO, THE WORLD’S TURNING AWFUL SLOW
AND IT FEELS LIKE IT’S WAY TOO LATE TO GO…